I am constantly looking for new ways to enrich the meditative and dream experience for both myself and my clients. As such, I have been working on meditations to assist my clients working through trauma in their lives. One of my most powerful meditations will train you to master your nightmares, seek out your fears and shine the light on them. Its not an easy process. It takes time and a lot of self love.
For the bold and the brave, (which has been the powerful genetic stock of my clients) it is a worthwhile journey. The result is a much more cognitive lucid experience that allows you to connect the dots of your emotional waking life, granting a real life integration my clients have never thought possible.
The short story below is designed to inspire you to look at your dreams as a doorway to your subconscious. Once we cross this threshold, you have much more power than you think. All fears are creatively placed blocks designed by your subconscious. The idea is to protect you. With the process that Stanley practices in the story, you will begin to discover the tools to help heal and integrate even the most tangled of blocks. It is important to note that trauma is very powerful and I recommend a period of psychological care if you have experienced something exceptionally traumatic before trying out the practice in this story or any type of Spiritual Exploration.
I have written this work of fiction based off of lucid dreams from a range of clients, friends (myself included) who, with permission, have decided to contribute their experiences. The purpose of this story is to show how lucid dreaming and meditation can be powerful tools in healing past trauma.
It will be posted in 2 parts.
The Glass Heart By Rocco Distefano
Stanley scrambled up the hill as fast as he could. Droplets of sweat rippled across his back, soaking through his shirt and heightening his sense of frenzied desperation. As he reached the top, he could see the cops quickly making their way down the side street to his left. They were gaining on him. Stanley bolted to his right and began to fall. As he turned, his foot slid on a muddied patch of Earth, twisting his leg and and landing him flat on his back.
Today was not a good day.
As Stanley writhed in the muck he began to turn the events of the day over in his mind. He wondered what in the world he had done to make these people so very upset.
Not an hour earlier, Stanley was in bed nursing a strong desire for peanut butter. It wasn’t a passing fancy either. This was a primal pull for the stuff. So he got himself dressed and walked the 2 blocks to the Market. As he wandered the aisles he began to feel a bit funny. Deep in the pit of his stomach Stanley began to feel a subtle queasiness, a unease that spread throughout his slender frame. “Wow! he thought I must be seriously hungry!” He began to hurry through the store until reached the aisle with the peanut butter.
About midway down the aisle. there, was a woman quietly sorting through the jars of buttery nuts. As he approached her, the woman turned and smiled. “My! You’re a tall one! Would you mind grabbing me a jar of “Best”? I can’t seem to reach it!” Stanley smiled and snatched a jar of “Best” Brand peanut butter from the top shelf and handed it to the lady. “Great choice! It’s much creamier than the others!” The woman smiled again and began to speak but something stopped her. Her face darkened. Her smile faded and her lips began to tremble. She looked sick.
“Are you okay!?” Stanley said. The woman, still trembling, brought her hand to her face. “What…..Are…You!?” She looked as though she was about to faint. Stanley rushed to her side. Concerned, he reached out to steady the shaking woman. As he extended his hands, a high pitched shriek cut the air like chainsaw to bone. The woman slipped from his grasp and ran down the aisle. “Help! He’s got a weapon!”
Stanley blinked. “What the–?” Before he could even think, a group of policemen appeared from the end of the aisle. “Stop! Drop your weapon!” “Weapon?” Stanley thought. “What weapon?” Fear crept up Stanley’s sleeve and made its way into his heart. On instinct, he bolted down the aisle and out the store. The cops followed. As Stanley ran, he turned off the main road and into the residential area that he lived. Stanley wasn’t one to run from the police. He never had any reason to. He was a law abiding, tax paying citizen. But today he was afraid. For some reason he knew that he couldn’t get caught.
He ran through the neighborhood, zig-zagging through the streets until he reached the hill that lead to his block. “If I can just get home…” Stanley clambered up the hill as fast as he could. As he reached the top, he noticed the cops in his periphery coming in on the left. “Damn! how did they get here so fast?! Stanley bolted to his right and slid into a patch of mud and onto his back.
Within moments the cops had him surrounded. There were 7 of them in total. “Geez!” Stanley thought. They brought a bloody army!” Two of the larger policemen grabbed him by the arms and lifted him onto his feet. A tall, ginger haired man pulled Stanley’s hands behind his back and cuffed them tightly together. The red haired giant turned Stanley around to face him. His badge flashed in the sunlight, brandishing the name “Daley”. There was something frightening about this man. It was as if he could see right through Stanley’s heart and into his soul. Stanley’s blood ran cold and his body grew limp and he sunk into the arms of the arresting officers. “Alright boys lets get him back to his house for questioning”. “To my house?” Stanley thought. Why my house? “Alright buddy! lets get moving!
The cops manhandled him up to his house. “How do they know where I live?” He thought. This was getting stranger by the minute. When they reached the door to his apartment, officer Daley reached into his own pocket, pulled out Stanley’s apt key, and unlocked the door. Stanley did a double take. “Where did he get my house key?! “Lets get him inside boys” The cops opened the door pulling Stanley inside and dragged him into the dining room area and plopped him into a chair.
“Aright boys! said officer Daley. “Search this place! Don’t stop until you find that weapon!” Then he leaned over Stanley, locking eyes with his. The officer’s presence shook Stanley to the very core. It was as if this man had full access to his every thought, every feeling, every memory. “Listen buddy!” why don’t you save us all some time and tell us where it is? Stanley blinked….. Huh?! But I have no idea what you are talking about!” And suddenly, Stanley knew exactly what they were talking about….and where it was. “But what would they want with that…?”
The cops were systematically making their way through the house room by room. It wouldn’t be long before they reached his bedroom where Stanley knew they would find what they were looking for. Another wave of nausea rippled through his slender frame. Fear raced through his veins like icy lava. “I don’t have anything!” The nausea began to overpower him. The world began to swim in a hypnotic rhythm, a slow, methodical symphony of color and light, wrapping his mind in a twist of frenzied madness. And suddenly he was falling again, slowly….slowly…. until he could feel and hear nothing but silence.
Copyright (C) Rocco Distefano 2010