Healing Through The Grief: Self Care When You Have Lost A Loved One

Your Life Is Awesome

Death is never easy and I can only imagine the pain that you must be going through at this time. I want you to know that as difficult as it may feel right now, I promise that it does get better from here. My job right now is to give you some tools to support you as you go through this powerfully transformative process called grieving. Believe it or not, you are going through as much a transformation as the one who has passed and that person wants you to be strong right now so that you can accomplish and finish the job you came here to Earth to do!


I am here to support you with some tips and suggestions to help you be as strong as healthy as you can be during the coming weeks and months. As you read through these suggestions I want you to remember:

That this is a powerful growth process that will take some time to work through your physical and spiritual bodies.

Don’t Rush! This process is about progress not perfection! Take your sweet time during this period. 

You are loved and supported by the Earthly and Angelic Realms! There is a good reason you are still here, reading these words! That reason will become clearer after you get through the healing you are about to begin. Keep going and never, never, never give up! 


Here are some tips to ensure that you are in your best shape for the healing you have ahead.

Stay hydrated with clean water as often as possible.

Eat healthy food that raises your mood heals your body.

Consult with your doctor (and trainer, if you have one) about a simple and healthy exercise routine. This is not the time for extreme sports or marathons. Instead Make it light, FUN and simple. It will help ground you in your body and help you to be present. It will make you feel better too 🙂

Spend time with people who are in a strong place in their lives. People who are loving and supportive who treat you with the kindness and respect that you deserve.

Attend a grief counseling session(s)

Work with Rocco in Private Meditation Sessions.

Attend Rocco’s weekly tele-class on Meditation and Healing.

Gather with your family at least once a week for meal.

Meditate and Pray. Attend your usual church services.

Keep a journal and document your experience. Getting things out on paper make things REAL. This can be a tremendous help in not only your own healing process but can help with some else’s down the line.

Talk with the deceased out loud and say what needs to be said.

Get a mani-pedi with your friends 🙂

Have a good cry, alone or with the people you love and trust.

If your finances are in order then please treat yourself to something nice 🙂 Like a new outfit, a nice dinner, a cool new device. Something that reminds you just how important and special that you are.

Here are some things to watch for at this time:

Having a cocktail can be fun but be aware that during times of grief or stress you have an increased vulnerability to chemicals and it can create a dependency that can have long lasting affects. Do have a cocktail if the mood strikes you. Don’t use alcohol/drugs to mask your feelings.

Monitor your use of chemicals at this time. If you find yourself drinking or using everyday you may be creating a block that will prevent you from healing.

Please take it easy at the gym and or your job if it is an active one. Light exercise can help raise your body and spirits but heavy and punishing exercise can severely damage your precious body and mind over time. You need to be healing not punishing yourself.

Do take a Zumba class with your friends or to work with a trainer who understands what you are going through and can guide you through some workouts that will strengthen you not exhaust you. This is not the time to “suddenly train for a marathon” or beat the crap out of your body in a “boot camp regime”. As always talk with a doctor who is aware of your medical history if you are new to exercise and have any questions about your health before going forward.

Avoid people places and things that make you feel bad about yourself. Even if they are family. Spend time with people who are loving and respectful of you.

Mediumship can be a powerful aid in the healing process so please go to one that you know and trust. While it is okay to go a few times, especially during the first year of your loss, know that the reason to visit a medium is to “wrap things up” with your loved one and say goodbye in a healthy and loving way, not to perpetuate a relationship with someone who is no longer living.

This is unhealthy and can be damaging to your psyche. After the first year of your loved one’s passing, if you find yourself seeking out mediums to contact that person more than once a year, it may suggest that you are having trouble letting go. If not managed, this can become an addiction and I recommend that you stop seeing mediums and seek grief counseling.

Going to Extremes with anything that I have not covered: eating, anger, gambling, cooking, shopping (yes, even lotto 🙂 can be damaging to yourself and others and put a stopper in all the amazing things you are still here to do! Please indulge if the mood strikes you but be mindful of what you are feeling while you participate.

If you feel like things are getting out of hand it may be time to deal with your feelings and again I recommend meditative healing work with myself as well as work with a psychotherapist so that you may continue to live the life you are here to live! Please talk with me if you would like to discuss working together with some of my own deep healing meditations. My private classes are designed for your own unique energy and healing needs and can be powerfully healing and transformational. Please also let me know if you need any help connecting with a therapist.

Your Mind And Body Are A Precious Resource

We only get one body and one mind in this lifetime so it is very important that we take excellent care of them even when we feel terrible. In fact its even more important to take Amazing! care of yourself during times of increased, stress, strain or grief. If your body/mind deteriorates you become less present to make healthy choices in life and it can create an imbalance that affects everything that you do and the other people in your life that you love.

So to ensure that you stay in the best condition to live your life happily and healthily it is important to always ground yourself in science and psychology first and foremost. If you are feeling ill, you go to your doctor. If you are experiencing signs of depression you go to a psychologist. In fact seeing a grief counselor is a great idea especially after a death.

It also is very understandable that you might want to connect with the person who has passed on. In this case it makes sense to seek out a reputable medium to help you make that connection. I must suggest that you attempt to make this connection when it feels right to you and with someone you trust who has excellent counseling skills.

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