One of the great things about being a teacher is that I can do it anywhere! I have been blessed to have traveled to some of the most interesting places all over this Awesome planet and to have met some of the most amazing people! Some of which have shown me such a display of courage and strength it has at times left me breathless. Most of the people I have had the pleasure of working with have been open, respectful and given back to me an equal amount, if not more of their own brand of love and inner knowledge. These amazing people have taken great leaps of faith and have worked through some difficult things and have earned every ounce of their lessons. However not everyone is exactly prepared to make healthy change in their life. Not everyone is ready to embrace the virtues of Intuition and Integrity. This is not to say that they never will. For some it may just take a little longer than others. And that is perfectly okay I am always here when the right time comes for each of you.
On one leg of my travels, I had just arrived in a new part of Long Island. It wasn’t long before the good word about my work and service had spread and since most of my students come to me by word of mouth, it was not unusual for me to receive a phone call from a number that I did not recognize.
One night I received a voice message from a woman who explained that she had heard wonderful things about me (why thank you!) and…. that if I was so wonderful that I could call her back and tell her who she was. There was a audible click as she hung up her old rotary phone and the message was cut off to silence…. (huh?!). I was confused. Most people who wanted to do business with me left a name and number by which they could be reached. As I listened to the message again, thinking that maybe I had missed something the first time, I began to hear the anger in this woman’s voice and feel the tightness in her heart chakra. She was angry, feeling ungrounded and disconnected and also feeling very sad at the moment. This was clearly someone who was in great pain and because she was never taught how to deal with this pain she was expressing it in the form of aggression. She was in search of help but unable to ask for it in a way that showed reverence for the healing of which she was in desperate need. Now, as an intuitive counselor, I have all of the faculties to recognize this and and while that is all well and good I have learned that I work best with people who are throughly versed in the art of Good Manners and I have also learned that despite their energetic and psychological pathologies some clients are not yet ready to hear the honest truth about their actions and behavior. Even though she was in need of help, this woman’s behavior was baiting, manipulative and downright rude. Definitely not someone I have time for in my busy schedule.
I spent a moment sending her light and understanding and love and after which, promptly deleted her number.
I sat there for a moment considering my own feelings about the situation. Even knowing how passionately I work to help others. Even with all of my knowledge of higher consciousness and understanding of humanity I was still bummed about the phone call. My human body and mind is precious to me and “conscious Rocco” was in need of some love and care. I listened to my heart and Spirit and heard what was being said. My guides came to the rescue and reminded me for a moment about all that I had accomplished. I had a resume that was quite long and clearly visible to anyone that bothered to visit my website. I had broadway actors and television stars that had launched their careers after coaching with me. And Everyone in the community had been raving about my services. I had even been enlisted by doctors and psychiatrists in the area to help them see their patients (and themselves) from a new perspective. I thought I was beyond the “proving” part of my career. It was then that I realized that this woman’s “bait and click” phone call was not about me or my business. It was about herself and her own psychic shame. A shame that was probably built from years of lies, fear and misinformation she had received about the psychic profession. Somewhere along the line she had developed a resentment for people who had access to their intuition and because of her desire to be in touch with the very part of herself that she had written off years before, she had decided it was okay to treat professional intuitives like third class citizens. She lacked respect for me and my work not because she was a mean lady but because she was missing the strength of heart to find some respect for herself.
All of this is stuff, the shame, the resentment, the self loathing are all things that I have gone through in the process of my career as an intuitive. This phone call got me thinking about just how I managed to work through some of this stuff long enough to make myself useful to the planet and the communities I have been blessed to have worked with. 10 years ago I would have jumped on this phone call just to validate that what I was experiencing was real. I would have called her back and shared with her everything I knew about her. Right down to her hair color and style. I would have earnestly laid out a plan of action to help her. And…she would have continued to have been disrespectful of my time and continued to resent my talent. Afterward, I would have been left drained, unsatisfied, way underpaid (if paid at all), and most importantly: too tired to help someone else who really wanted to be helped.
You see, Since 2003 I have learned a thing or two about Self Love and I know that I cannot be the best me I can possibly be unless I show some love and awesome amounts of respect to myself first. Since that time I have done a lot of soul work. Body, Heart and Mind and Today I do not have to look outside myself to garner validation because I know myself very well and have respect for all that I am and every facet of the world around me.
And I have achieved this actualization and understanding through my faith in the universe, open communication with my guides and God and by managing the psychology of something I have come to call Psychic Shame. Below I spell out the nature of this very human phenomena.
What is Psychic Shame?
Psychic Shame is an internalized shame carried by all who perform, receive, or include any kind of energetic, intuitive, healing or any decidedly unscientific service, ideas, faith or beliefs in their lifestyle. Like most shame, it is something painful, varies between individuals and can express itself in unhealthy ways through a variety of self-defeating practices.
Sounds gruesome doesn’t it? We all go through it. Psychic Shame can affect your health, your relationships, your business, your self and world view. It hurts and its something that will not completely go away as long as we are shameful and mysterious about our spiritual education and practices.
It is not easy to go public with any kind of spiritual work and in some cases, it is not even easy to be open about receiving these services. The oppression that comes from a variety of organizations, religious and non and the mystery that is generated in response to this oppression creates a deep seeded fear, sadness and self hatred that compromises the clarity and integrity of both the practitioner and the client. What we do becomes “hidden” and “subversive” a service that we receive in the shadows. And there is also the other end of the spectrum where sensitive people are revered as the gifted “chosen ones” bestowed magical powers that the “normal” folk could only dream to possess. This of course creates a rift between us all. The “gifted” on one side and the “normals” on the other. Its sad to watch this especially when our differences should be bringing us together.
In the coming articles, I have gathered examples from my own experience that have been triggers for my own Psychic Shame and some ways I have personally transformed this shame into something beautiful and useful for not only myself but the entire world around me. I will be discussing ways to help you understand what is happening in each situation both psychologically and energetically so that you can discover ways to make this shame work for you (and the rest of us rather than against. I hope you enjoy hearing about my experiences and invite you to share your own in the comments below
Copyright 2013 Rocco Distefano